Yoga Practice and My Ego

Q: When I am doing yoga in a yoga class I find that my ego and/or insecurities sometimes come up and drive me to push harder in my postures.  What is the best way to deal with this?  And conversely, when I am at home doing yoga how do I, without those outward stimuli, stay focused and present in my practice?

Your yoga practice is for you.  It is a non-competitive practice and this is a great opportunity for you to work on this topic.   Human beings are social creatures and we are often driven by outside forces where we look for value, recognition and approval from others.  Your yoga practice is your opportunity to connect with yourself and when you feel that connection to your spirit you will feel whole without needing to always look outward to see how you are doing. This will not lessen your connection to others but instead will improve the quality of your relationships. You will approach friends and family from a place of centeredness and balance instead of looking always to find something that you need.  Then when you and others mutually support one another as we move along our lives it will feel like an easy ebb and flow of giving and receiving love and support, not like a struggle to get what you need where you feel a void if you do not receive the right input.  It is helpful to remember that what other people say and do, even toward us, is often about them and how they feel about themselves and not about us at all.

To practice finding this internal place of balance in your yoga practice, stay very present with your breath and your body throughout your practice.  When in a yoga class with others pay attention to your breath first and foremost and pay attention to how you feel as you explore places of tightness and tension. Then feel those spaces and places of tightness and tension, and maybe even a previous respond to your breath and release under the guidance and support of your own awareness to yourself and your breath!  None of this has to do with what anyone else is thinking of you or your practice.

This focus will show you that you can have an amazingly aware connection to your own body and well-being.  The more internally focused during your practice, the more worries about what other people are thinking about you will fall away. It may be helpful to remember that the other people in the room are sometimes plagued by the same worries that you are.  We are all going through similar things as we move through the days and years of our lives and that knowledge helps to soften our own worry and sometime insecurity.  It also helps us to be together in a yoga class with others and yet alone in our own space on our mat, attending to our bodies and our health.  Fell that next time you are in a yoga class, all of you working together, alone.

A note here, I do not recommend doing group yoga practice in a room with mirrors as I think it brings a gym feeling into the room and also fosters a sense of comparison and competitiveness.  Though I think competitiveness is normal to an extent and is positive in some sports, I do not think its valuable in what you are striving toward in yoga--which is a better relationship with your own body, your breath and your spirit. However, I do think it is very valuable, for connecting with self and visually seeing your alignment, to do yoga in front of a mirror when practicing alone at home.  It's an amazing experience to really see yourself in a loving and curious way.

When you are doing yoga at home use the exact same techniques.  As you get more and more interested in what is going on in your own body there is almost no place that you cannot practice yoga--alone or with others--and not be fascinated by your own experience.  Any lack of drive will disappear as you nurture and foster your relationship with your breath and your curiosity about your body and its response to the yoga postures.  As you tune into the energy and breath that you are cultivating and the cumulative experience of aliveness and well-being that it fosters I think you will be excited t get on your mat--at home or in a yoga studio!